This was beautiful, Maggie. --And also, 13?!! What?! That's crazy to me! I still see him as a little one--stop the clocks, I just want to stay in place for a while. (Also, my "kid" (now 25!) calls me every morning on their drive to work...I love this generation.)
Maggie, this is so beautiful. My baby is just starting her first fall (and your poem plays on repeat in my mind) so we have years before she’s Rhett’s age. I already love reading about how wonderful teens can be, though. Every age and milestone is something to look forward to.
Maggie, I’m so happy for you. You have a relationship with your son that I only dream about with mine. I was just awarded sole custody after a ten-year custody battle. You read that correctly. Ten. Ethan’s father was abusive in that he thrived off of parental alienation. I’m just lucky if my thirteen-year-old hugs me with both arms. (He’s a fan of the less fulfilling side hug.) But you give me hope because the kind of need you describe is intrinsic. Somewhere deep inside, my wildly loving boy still exists, and that boy needs his mama, so I’ll keep the faith and keep trying. For the time being, I’m just his soft place to land, and that will have to be enough. xx
Maggie, your reply came at just the right moment. Thank you for writing that. I’m going to try being content as a soft place to land right now. You’re correct: it is plenty. ♥️
Glad you're home safe! I expected my kids to lean way out when they hit their teen years (like I did), but they mostly didn't. What leaning in looked like changed, though. They didn't want to spend endless hours right next to me, but if I could make myself available whenever or however they made a bid for connection, even if the timing was awkward or I wondered, Um, why are we talking about this random bit of pop culture that you seem to have SO MANY intense feelings about?, then they kept showing up.
My overarching goal during their teen years was to make sure they wanted me on the bus once they drove away into their own lives, so I've learned to be a much more silent and amenable passenger while we're still on the same bus. There are still expectations and limits, but my expressions of judgment are dialed way down because they just backfire. Luckily for all of us, their risky behaviors (which is the thing folks worry about most, I think) have been tame in the grand scheme, so I've been able to be pretty hands off. And it's worked! They're 22 and 18 now and we're still very connected. They ask for help and feedback and time together. We all honestly like each other. It's totally different than my own experience at their age, and it's delightful.
I love when you can go on a trip and leave your kids knowing they have each other! They look so sweet and happy in the pic!
Yes. They have a special relationship entirely apart from me. I love that. ❤️
This was beautiful, Maggie. --And also, 13?!! What?! That's crazy to me! I still see him as a little one--stop the clocks, I just want to stay in place for a while. (Also, my "kid" (now 25!) calls me every morning on their drive to work...I love this generation.)
Thanks—and so good to connect with you earlier today, Kel. You’re the best. xx
Maggie, this is so beautiful. My baby is just starting her first fall (and your poem plays on repeat in my mind) so we have years before she’s Rhett’s age. I already love reading about how wonderful teens can be, though. Every age and milestone is something to look forward to.
Yes. Thank you.
Maggie, I’m so happy for you. You have a relationship with your son that I only dream about with mine. I was just awarded sole custody after a ten-year custody battle. You read that correctly. Ten. Ethan’s father was abusive in that he thrived off of parental alienation. I’m just lucky if my thirteen-year-old hugs me with both arms. (He’s a fan of the less fulfilling side hug.) But you give me hope because the kind of need you describe is intrinsic. Somewhere deep inside, my wildly loving boy still exists, and that boy needs his mama, so I’ll keep the faith and keep trying. For the time being, I’m just his soft place to land, and that will have to be enough. xx
Sending care. Lots of it. Being a soft place to land is plenty. ❤️
Maggie, your reply came at just the right moment. Thank you for writing that. I’m going to try being content as a soft place to land right now. You’re correct: it is plenty. ♥️
My little guy is now 32 and is still the world's best hugger. Blessed.
Blessed!
Glad you're home safe! I expected my kids to lean way out when they hit their teen years (like I did), but they mostly didn't. What leaning in looked like changed, though. They didn't want to spend endless hours right next to me, but if I could make myself available whenever or however they made a bid for connection, even if the timing was awkward or I wondered, Um, why are we talking about this random bit of pop culture that you seem to have SO MANY intense feelings about?, then they kept showing up.
My overarching goal during their teen years was to make sure they wanted me on the bus once they drove away into their own lives, so I've learned to be a much more silent and amenable passenger while we're still on the same bus. There are still expectations and limits, but my expressions of judgment are dialed way down because they just backfire. Luckily for all of us, their risky behaviors (which is the thing folks worry about most, I think) have been tame in the grand scheme, so I've been able to be pretty hands off. And it's worked! They're 22 and 18 now and we're still very connected. They ask for help and feedback and time together. We all honestly like each other. It's totally different than my own experience at their age, and it's delightful.
Thanks so much for this, Asha. ❤️So true about the bids for connection! Your kids are lucky…