Love this. So much inspiration, joy, and reflection the past few years has come from my daughter (now 6) making deep or off-the-wall comments and observations in random moments. (Why do you like to be alone? How do stars stay in the sky? Where do we go when we die? Does Bigfoot have big poops?)
I've never looked at revision/editing from the other side (finished) before and it is a smash idea. The usual critiquer says what's wrong but doesn't suggest any fix unless they rewrite your poem. These e-mails are wonderful and I look forward eagerly to each one.
I love the “glitter-black overlap of shingles…dark and sparkling on its back”. How you make space and the roof connected. “ The tunnel in the precise size and shape of your body” reminds me of the image of tearing a hole in the sky and filling it with blue. I can’t remember if this was in one of your poems, or your memoir. Anyway, it is beautiful.
At your age…
this is dark (!) especially the beginning. It reminds me of the complicated self-image of the teenager trying to find something that suits but is not too revealing. I love “Where…carry there?” Also “soft, hand-me-down darkness” is startling and poignant.
Anyway, I really loved re reading the poems and digesting the notes. Saturday is my Substack day!
Love this. So much inspiration, joy, and reflection the past few years has come from my daughter (now 6) making deep or off-the-wall comments and observations in random moments. (Why do you like to be alone? How do stars stay in the sky? Where do we go when we die? Does Bigfoot have big poops?)
I've never looked at revision/editing from the other side (finished) before and it is a smash idea. The usual critiquer says what's wrong but doesn't suggest any fix unless they rewrite your poem. These e-mails are wonderful and I look forward eagerly to each one.
Those last two lines of "Sky" always make me think of Mark Strand's brilliant poem "Keeping Things Whole." (Also, "nonnets" — what a great term!)
“The glitter-black overlap of shingles” and “the lace in solace” ✨✨
Sky:
I love the “glitter-black overlap of shingles…dark and sparkling on its back”. How you make space and the roof connected. “ The tunnel in the precise size and shape of your body” reminds me of the image of tearing a hole in the sky and filling it with blue. I can’t remember if this was in one of your poems, or your memoir. Anyway, it is beautiful.
At your age…
this is dark (!) especially the beginning. It reminds me of the complicated self-image of the teenager trying to find something that suits but is not too revealing. I love “Where…carry there?” Also “soft, hand-me-down darkness” is startling and poignant.
Anyway, I really loved re reading the poems and digesting the notes. Saturday is my Substack day!
Thanks, Maggie.