I think this paring down happens as we age. Things become clearer. We’re not in a rush to do everything, have experiences etc. And we realize why spend time with people who don’t make us truly happy. I’ll be 58 next month & my 40’s & 50’s have been great in this way. 💕💕
I love this post dearly and will be adopting your family “risk it all” mantra. How do we put a “red pen” though, to someone in our immediate family? A sister, for example. Someone we love and have been close with, but recently with work, kids, etc. is too busy for us? Is it not so black and white? Red pen, sometimes, yes. But sometimes yellow, or green. Or maybe it’s red until things change, at which point she may have (sadly) missed out on all the good stuff.
I love this, Maggie, in many ways. I also feel that we can't entirely edit people and views that don't align with our way of seeing the world out of our lives. For me, to live in community is to retain an openness to people and perspectives outside of those that feel comfortable and cosy with my own. I don't want to take a red pen to everything that I don't neatly align with bc I think as people and citizens we need to be able to listen, empathise and find (sometimes only tiny islands of) common ground. If we all put up our personal boundaries and remove any uncomfortable friction from our lives we will end up more divided and individualistic. I'm curious what others make of this? I also feel that sometimes paid work is not a hell yes, and we can look to move towards more gold and yes whilst also accepting the realities of life / bills.
Jess, I think it’s perhaps more about selective investment. Certainly I have plenty of people in my life I’m not aligned with, and there are many things I must do that I don’t wholeheartedly love, but when I can make the choice, and I often can, I choose what feels good to my nervous system. What’s that Annie Dillard quote? “How we spend of our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” I try to keep that in mind.
I needed this today. As someone struggling deeply with overwhelm, your pep talk gave me a path forward. I recently did a test to see how well I was getting things done, and my result was “reactive/victim.” It didn’t surprise me. “Risk it all” speaks to my soul, inspiring me to edit both my life, the tasks in my day job, and my novel in progress. I loved this: “Changing one thing changes everything.” Your post helped me realize that I also want to live a compressed life that feels like the biggest, most authentic life that I’ve ever lived, where I feel connected to my loves (writing, art, family, music) and not dragged down by shame. I’m ready to live that poem of a life and to let go of the “meh.” I'm printing this post to tape on my office wall. Thank you for this life-affirming message. ❤️ I’ll be thinking about it all day.
Yes, makes total sense. I love the clarity it can give certain situations in one's life, or certain choices that must be made, to think of life as a poem, and we must take a red pen to parts of it in order to make it the most beautiful, expressive, alive poem possible. It takes the angst and guilt out of some decisions. Thank you for this tiny yet enormous pep talk.
I literally have been editing and compiling my poems for my new poetry book today… I literally have 150 plus poems for a new book… plus 50 poems from last year… my problem is printing a new book seems incredibly challenging… do you have any advice? Thank you Eva.
Paring down can be difficult, but it’s also one of my favorite parts of putting a book together. I have a couple of posts in the active about assembling a manuscript; I hope they’re useful. Sending all the good editing energy, Eva!
I love this post, Maggie, and am re-reading a second time to allow it can sink in. Leaning into what and who I love and away from “meh” resonated - your beautiful wording and perspective of course helped!- and may just need to become the rudder for my 2025 annual plan. Thank you. (I appreciated the “green pen” comments above too).
Beautiful piece. I was fortunate to have an ideal portion of my family visit for the holiday. I was walking in the street with my almost 2-year old granddaughter (Violet) and my daughter-in-law, when Violet reached up for both of our hands and said "walk a little bit." And in front of us were our three shadows, connected. How perfect is this small little moment?!
"...not making decisions out of fear, anxiety, or a scarcity-based mindset." Thank you for this reminder! An unexpected amount of uncertainty arose recently in my job and while it is causing a not unreasonable amount of stress, it also is serving as a reminder to refocus on what -- and who -- matters most to me. I will have some big decisions to make and there is simply no room for fear, anxiety, or a scarcity-based mindset. (*she repeats to herself multiple times a day*)
I think this paring down happens as we age. Things become clearer. We’re not in a rush to do everything, have experiences etc. And we realize why spend time with people who don’t make us truly happy. I’ll be 58 next month & my 40’s & 50’s have been great in this way. 💕💕
Yes! A benefit of age: greater clarity.
I love this post dearly and will be adopting your family “risk it all” mantra. How do we put a “red pen” though, to someone in our immediate family? A sister, for example. Someone we love and have been close with, but recently with work, kids, etc. is too busy for us? Is it not so black and white? Red pen, sometimes, yes. But sometimes yellow, or green. Or maybe it’s red until things change, at which point she may have (sadly) missed out on all the good stuff.
I always graded with green ink back in my college professor days. Felt kinder!
I love this, Maggie, in many ways. I also feel that we can't entirely edit people and views that don't align with our way of seeing the world out of our lives. For me, to live in community is to retain an openness to people and perspectives outside of those that feel comfortable and cosy with my own. I don't want to take a red pen to everything that I don't neatly align with bc I think as people and citizens we need to be able to listen, empathise and find (sometimes only tiny islands of) common ground. If we all put up our personal boundaries and remove any uncomfortable friction from our lives we will end up more divided and individualistic. I'm curious what others make of this? I also feel that sometimes paid work is not a hell yes, and we can look to move towards more gold and yes whilst also accepting the realities of life / bills.
Jess, I think it’s perhaps more about selective investment. Certainly I have plenty of people in my life I’m not aligned with, and there are many things I must do that I don’t wholeheartedly love, but when I can make the choice, and I often can, I choose what feels good to my nervous system. What’s that Annie Dillard quote? “How we spend of our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” I try to keep that in mind.
I needed this today. As someone struggling deeply with overwhelm, your pep talk gave me a path forward. I recently did a test to see how well I was getting things done, and my result was “reactive/victim.” It didn’t surprise me. “Risk it all” speaks to my soul, inspiring me to edit both my life, the tasks in my day job, and my novel in progress. I loved this: “Changing one thing changes everything.” Your post helped me realize that I also want to live a compressed life that feels like the biggest, most authentic life that I’ve ever lived, where I feel connected to my loves (writing, art, family, music) and not dragged down by shame. I’m ready to live that poem of a life and to let go of the “meh.” I'm printing this post to tape on my office wall. Thank you for this life-affirming message. ❤️ I’ll be thinking about it all day.
I’m so glad this arrived at the right time for you, Suzanne.💗
Yes, makes total sense. I love the clarity it can give certain situations in one's life, or certain choices that must be made, to think of life as a poem, and we must take a red pen to parts of it in order to make it the most beautiful, expressive, alive poem possible. It takes the angst and guilt out of some decisions. Thank you for this tiny yet enormous pep talk.
Glad it resonated with you, Marianna.
"My life, like a poem, is small and enormous."
I love that. Your walks are fruitful places to be!
You really made me think.
And, today was a day with nothing planned, so I filled the first part of it with poetry!
The rest of the day is still waiting.
Happy day that.
I love that! Happy writing, Lizzie.
I love how a few words can speak a whole story.
I literally have been editing and compiling my poems for my new poetry book today… I literally have 150 plus poems for a new book… plus 50 poems from last year… my problem is printing a new book seems incredibly challenging… do you have any advice? Thank you Eva.
Paring down can be difficult, but it’s also one of my favorite parts of putting a book together. I have a couple of posts in the active about assembling a manuscript; I hope they’re useful. Sending all the good editing energy, Eva!
*archive (ack!)
I love this post, Maggie, and am re-reading a second time to allow it can sink in. Leaning into what and who I love and away from “meh” resonated - your beautiful wording and perspective of course helped!- and may just need to become the rudder for my 2025 annual plan. Thank you. (I appreciated the “green pen” comments above too).
Beautiful piece. I was fortunate to have an ideal portion of my family visit for the holiday. I was walking in the street with my almost 2-year old granddaughter (Violet) and my daughter-in-law, when Violet reached up for both of our hands and said "walk a little bit." And in front of us were our three shadows, connected. How perfect is this small little moment?!
"...not making decisions out of fear, anxiety, or a scarcity-based mindset." Thank you for this reminder! An unexpected amount of uncertainty arose recently in my job and while it is causing a not unreasonable amount of stress, it also is serving as a reminder to refocus on what -- and who -- matters most to me. I will have some big decisions to make and there is simply no room for fear, anxiety, or a scarcity-based mindset. (*she repeats to herself multiple times a day*)