I have this image of strolling into my local bakers looking at all their cakes & asking them why they would put themselves out there like this?! Brilliant pep talk Maggie, thank you
Thanks Maggie for your thoughts! I recently started publishing on Substack after much thought about the same. I even got called out by my sister who said I should have asked her permission first. My response was that I didn’t think it was about her. It was my writing, my life. I have to say, it took me aback and I totally examine what I write before I publish it. It’s a difficult fence to ride. But I am a writer, that’s why I write. My page is KarenBrooks; Just Saying.
It’s always delicate when we’re writing about our lives, because those lives include other people. Empathy is the key, I think. Wishing you all the best!
Maggie, I think you’re being generous, and I don’t mean just for the writing. I just finished “You could make this place Beautiful” last night. But no, I think you’re being generous to that questioner. I think she’s saying, “why did you have to air your dirty laundry “ I feel like she saying, “We women should keep these things to ourselves. Why would you want to let people peer into your bedroom?” Okay, maybe she’s thinking that.
I’m sorry, but we don’t need to be ashamed when divorce happens. We don’t need to hide it when we realize maybe we had a little part in that outcome after all, we don’t need to pretend it’s all for the best, even though some of it is. Because I my train does a journalist writer. I really think about the questions
Why wouldn’t I write about my life with its Brightness, dark, shadows, gallows humor and the human foibles of me and everyone around me?
This may not be your style in public speaking, but I think you could answer that question or with this :
“Are you Kidding me?! I’ve just been handed this, amazing, gut-wrenching
Material- and I own the copyright. How could I NOT write about it?! “
I do err on the side of generosity, and while it burns me now and then, I’m imperfect and fallible, and I have good days and bad days, and I know that applies to everyone else, too. So I try to extend grace. Being human is messy, isn’t it?
This reminds me of when I was defending my thesis (a collection of creative nonfiction and poetry) in graduate school. We had to have one non-creative writing prof on the committee. The non-writing prof on my committee was from the architecture department. I remember toward the end she said, "Why does anyone care about any of this?" It wasn't a philosophical question. She wasn't looking for an answer like, "I want to make the world a more beautiful place" or "I want to connect with people." She literally meant: "who gives a crap? What's the point of reading poetry and memoir?" My major professor and the other creatives on the committee were all horrified and speechless. We all stared at her with jaws dropped because the question she asked basically felt like an invalidation of our whole existence. Yep. As you said, we write because we are writers. I still think about that moment, 25 years later.
Just…wow. I’m glad your committee members were also taken aback. That’s appalling. I’m sorry that happened to you—though maybe it was, in a way, galvanizing?
Yes and yes.... but I don't remember the words. I do remember that my major professor apologized profusely afterwards, as she had picked this other committee member.
TL:DR: without memoir and autobiography i wouldn’t have been able to free myself from squalor, abuse and poverty to become the first person in my family to go to university and then graduate school. I’d be thinking I deserved my horrible life and art and writing was only created by the privileged. So thank you.
I needed this, at this exact moment. Just like I needed YCMTPB when my partner quit marriage one day, out of the blue, but not. Thank you for being a writer. Because your words gave/give me salvation and sanctuary when I feel the most deeply alone. Because, I’m a writer, too. ❤️🩹
I needed these words - this pep talk today. Thank you, Maggie. 🙏🏼
The more I display vulnerability and my rawness in my writing, I feel empowered. I’ve been telling myself all along that I am doing this for me. To get my power and voice back. Yet, it feels like there might be more. Maybe, just maybe, I am a writer and that alone is why spilling my words out feels natural. And I want others to read them so that they, too, may find their voice in mine.
I get the statement, "You are so brave," which I often interpret as "You should be ashamed" depending on the intonation. Sometimes I respond. Other times I don't.
I think I remember that question as an audience member! (Mine was one of the other hands raised.) I think curiosity was at the core of that question, but it's likely that person hadn't experienced the kind of stuff that requires a pen-to-paper, hands-to-keyboard outpouring. There are thousands (maybe millions?) of us who are grateful you chose to write it out, Maggie.
“A judgment phrased as a question” ! Yes! Ahhh I love your candor. I have much writing to do today so thanks for this. We write because we write. Duh.
Hope you have a wonderful writing day!
I have this image of strolling into my local bakers looking at all their cakes & asking them why they would put themselves out there like this?! Brilliant pep talk Maggie, thank you
Now I’m craving cake!
Thanks Maggie for your thoughts! I recently started publishing on Substack after much thought about the same. I even got called out by my sister who said I should have asked her permission first. My response was that I didn’t think it was about her. It was my writing, my life. I have to say, it took me aback and I totally examine what I write before I publish it. It’s a difficult fence to ride. But I am a writer, that’s why I write. My page is KarenBrooks; Just Saying.
It’s always delicate when we’re writing about our lives, because those lives include other people. Empathy is the key, I think. Wishing you all the best!
Maggie, I think you’re being generous, and I don’t mean just for the writing. I just finished “You could make this place Beautiful” last night. But no, I think you’re being generous to that questioner. I think she’s saying, “why did you have to air your dirty laundry “ I feel like she saying, “We women should keep these things to ourselves. Why would you want to let people peer into your bedroom?” Okay, maybe she’s thinking that.
I’m sorry, but we don’t need to be ashamed when divorce happens. We don’t need to hide it when we realize maybe we had a little part in that outcome after all, we don’t need to pretend it’s all for the best, even though some of it is. Because I my train does a journalist writer. I really think about the questions
Why wouldn’t I write about my life with its Brightness, dark, shadows, gallows humor and the human foibles of me and everyone around me?
This may not be your style in public speaking, but I think you could answer that question or with this :
“Are you Kidding me?! I’ve just been handed this, amazing, gut-wrenching
Material- and I own the copyright. How could I NOT write about it?! “
“And as you know, it’s what I do. I am a writer.”
I do err on the side of generosity, and while it burns me now and then, I’m imperfect and fallible, and I have good days and bad days, and I know that applies to everyone else, too. So I try to extend grace. Being human is messy, isn’t it?
This reminds me of when I was defending my thesis (a collection of creative nonfiction and poetry) in graduate school. We had to have one non-creative writing prof on the committee. The non-writing prof on my committee was from the architecture department. I remember toward the end she said, "Why does anyone care about any of this?" It wasn't a philosophical question. She wasn't looking for an answer like, "I want to make the world a more beautiful place" or "I want to connect with people." She literally meant: "who gives a crap? What's the point of reading poetry and memoir?" My major professor and the other creatives on the committee were all horrified and speechless. We all stared at her with jaws dropped because the question she asked basically felt like an invalidation of our whole existence. Yep. As you said, we write because we are writers. I still think about that moment, 25 years later.
Just…wow. I’m glad your committee members were also taken aback. That’s appalling. I’m sorry that happened to you—though maybe it was, in a way, galvanizing?
Perhaps, although there have definitely been times her voice has wormed its way into my brain in a rather insidious fashion!
Did you respond?! Did your committee members say anything? I’m so curious!
Yes and yes.... but I don't remember the words. I do remember that my major professor apologized profusely afterwards, as she had picked this other committee member.
Absolutely needed this at this exact moment! Thanks for being here. ❤️
Much love, Amy 💗💗💗
I admire your generosity. No diss at all- and of course, i say most of those things to myself.
I get it! Thanks, Joanne.
Thank you for this!!!
I love this, Maggie. Thank you.
TL:DR: without memoir and autobiography i wouldn’t have been able to free myself from squalor, abuse and poverty to become the first person in my family to go to university and then graduate school. I’d be thinking I deserved my horrible life and art and writing was only created by the privileged. So thank you.
I needed this, at this exact moment. Just like I needed YCMTPB when my partner quit marriage one day, out of the blue, but not. Thank you for being a writer. Because your words gave/give me salvation and sanctuary when I feel the most deeply alone. Because, I’m a writer, too. ❤️🩹
I needed these words - this pep talk today. Thank you, Maggie. 🙏🏼
The more I display vulnerability and my rawness in my writing, I feel empowered. I’ve been telling myself all along that I am doing this for me. To get my power and voice back. Yet, it feels like there might be more. Maybe, just maybe, I am a writer and that alone is why spilling my words out feels natural. And I want others to read them so that they, too, may find their voice in mine.
So many goosebumps reading this, today. Thanks 🫶
Because it's more painful to hold a personal story in than it is to let it out!
I get the statement, "You are so brave," which I often interpret as "You should be ashamed" depending on the intonation. Sometimes I respond. Other times I don't.
I think I remember that question as an audience member! (Mine was one of the other hands raised.) I think curiosity was at the core of that question, but it's likely that person hadn't experienced the kind of stuff that requires a pen-to-paper, hands-to-keyboard outpouring. There are thousands (maybe millions?) of us who are grateful you chose to write it out, Maggie.
And because your honesty and open heart, in that book, gave so many of us so much.